I always scared to trust someone. Letting them know more about you is like reopen the deepest secret in your life.
Every writer wants to publish their masterpiece, so do I. But writing is a process so I don’t know when I could constantly write. From the 2011, I build two characters. I really want to finish their story. I already made some, and I was too stupid not to make a back up. When my laptop error, so all of the story is gone, sadly.
I want to ‘wake up’ the characters again, so I thought to find them back from where the story started, Tumblr. For some reason I leave my tumblr and all of my posts. I burned it with all my anger, my faith, my fear of being rejected as I am, as an ordinary person. It was really hurt when people looking at you because of the pride.
The dark memory comes along with the new distraction. Someone comes and being your muse, which makes you feel easier to catch your hope. It makes you remember again being unwanted. You were abandoned by the person you started to trust. I never sure where I have to put my trust? I don’t know whether I should fully trust to someone and being hurt or I just give them my half trust, then I pretended I don’t want to know anything.
I am too overthinking as usual, but I just prepare for the worst.
When there are some people that really know your curiosity that makes you live your life, you just too scared to lose them, right?
You may never ever break someone trust because you don’t know if that is the last trust they have.